This post is not intended to embarrass or disrespect anyone. It is to inform of my experience with Mother's failing mind. She knows it herself and has a great sense of humor regarding it.
Grandma played in the backyard with the boys. It was several games, i.e. Cowboys and Indians, Pirates and Hunter as Calvin calls it. It's a game of shooting pretend animals in the backyard with pretend guns makeshifted out of tinker-toys. Grandma was spotted crouching in the bushes and heard making gun-like noises. I could also hear the boys yelling in excitement, "Over here Grandma!", "Shoot the bear Grandma!", "Run Grandma!", "To the forest Grandma!" She did as she was instructed and she had a blast doing it! The boys think they have a pretty-cool grandma and I concur!
Have to add a pic of Cosette, it's been too long to not add a picture of her. She is growing and thriving! She is starting to show some personality. She is a night owl right now, not sure why she's inclined. I'm always found in bed early!:)
Mom in jammies. Can't tell in the picture, but her bottoms are inside out and on backwards. One other night her top was found inside out and some how she managed to button it. She always laughed about it and would go back to make it right.
We had a lot of good laughs. Mom is really funny and she doesn't even know it! When she sneezes, instead of saying, "AAhh choo", she says, "Look out!"
I took her over to Ilene's one evening to see where Ilene and Morgan live and Ilene had Eva Cassidy playing in the background. It triggered something in Mom and it took her back, somewhere and she went blank. She looked at us and said, " How long have I been like this? Where have I been?" Mom knows of her condition and knows that she is not the same. She often talked of how isolated she is and craves more social interaction. Mom also mentioned that there are not many opportunities for it up in Cascade. She loves her animals, but realizes she must sell them, so Don and she can be more mobile. She had some bouts of crying and they all were about her Mother. She did tell me something I have never heard before. Mom revealed that her Mother, Grandma Athlyn, suffered greatly from depression. It was so bad, that at one point Grandpa Bob drove her to Blackfoot, Idaho and had her admitted into pyschiatric hospital. There, they did shock therapy on her heart which mom belives is what gave Grandma her heart problems that ultimately led to her death. I gathered that Mom's depression was not singled out by exterior factors, she as well as we, are predisposed to it. Mom however denies that depression could run in the family. Funny though, because I as well as others, have had major bouts of it. Interesting how certain things can surface now, when her mind is going, that I have never heard her reference before. Mostly everthing she did talk about was repititious.
I did enjoy Mom and miss her now. She is not the mother I grew up with. She has been humbled greatly because of her declining mind. It's a tradegy that she never took the time to get to know us and now that she has the time, she's not completely able to. Though Mom is not the same, she is still as positive as ever. She always has the nicest things to say about family. She told me all of the things any daughter would love to hear, constantly praising me from day to day and giving me compliments that I have always longed to hear from her. Though the conditions aren't exactly the way I would want them for mother or for mother and me, they are bringing us close in a way that I could never have predicted. Mom truly believes that she will rise again with a fully restored mind. With the efforts of all her children, maybe we can help. (and the taking of her medication wouldn't hurt either)
4 comments:
Thank you for your well placed words. It's nice to hear the bright side! Ryan
I have tears running down my face... how truly sad that she had a "waking up" moment and asked 'how long have I been like this?"
I am happy tho that she played with your boys and gave you well deserved praise. You have come so far and done so well Christi with all your trials. (I knew about G. Athlyn years ago and thought I told you. I guess I only told Athlyn.)
I just grieve tho at the life she could lead with grandkids but can't because she will forget all of us. But then, life was tough growing up...why did I think it would be any easier when we were grown up? Thanks for taking the time to document this even though you are busy with a new baby.
Thank you for sharing. I am touched to hear that through her trail she is comforted to know that she will "rise again with a fully restored mind." I am so grateful for the atonement and what it truley means. Thanks to your mother for the reminder!! And to you for writing it down.
I enjoyed your words. It is hard to see mom decline so. I'm glad she played with the kids, what good memories for them.
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